Stefanitely Over It

July 19, 2026

Balancing the masculine and the feminine

I’ve noticed through my healing journey that life has revolved around certain themes.

When I first began my healing journey in 2025, I started going to a Reiki healer, who’s still my healer and Reiki Master. After my session we sat down for feedback. One thing she picked up immediately was that I had this very strong wounded masculine energy and that she felt such a disconnect to the feminine energy.

Over the last year I went through a series of cyclical themes, all revolving around building up my relationship with the Divine Feminine.

Over the last week that theme has come full circle. A few days ago I was doing my meditation and I started pulling cards from my Shamanic Healing card deck.

Immediately “Masculine” jumped out of the deck.

So I immediately asked, “How can I integrate the masculine into my daily life?”

As I shuffled the cards, “Duality” jumped out.

That night—or well, the following morning—I woke up having had a dream.

What I knew

• Three tribes/villages:
  • West African
  • North East African
  • Northwest African
• I was with the West African tribe.
• An oppressive state forced the tribes into desperation.

• It was decided that I (a West African woman in the village/tribe) would go out and try to negotiate peace with this oppressive state.
• As I was preparing to set out on this journey, everyone from the village came to send me off and gave me food and water for my journey.
• I set off on this journey, and when I looked down, this little boy was walking beside me.
• I immediately gave him the food I had with me, and he just looked up at me smiling.
• It was at that point I started to wake up, and I remember thinking,

“No… I can’t negotiate peace with this oppressive state.”

Now stay with me, because there’s more.

This is how things work. When there’s a message, it will keep showing up until you get it.

So, I hop on social media and I’m doing my morning scroll, and what was at the top of my feed?

“West Africans hold DNA that’s not linked to this world.”

Now, it wasn’t so much the post about being otherworldly as it was that West Africa jumped out again not five minutes after waking from this dream.

So I got the message loud and clear.

“Look into West Africa.”

So the research began.

As I got into my research, I found this video on West African theology and the different deities. As I went further into the video, it started talking about this twin deity in the West African Vodun: Mawu-Lisa.

The twin gods of duality.

• Mawu representing the feminine.
• Lisa representing the masculine.

Mawu-Lisa is a creator divinity whose power is understood through paired opposites that complete each other.

Mawu is often linked to the moon, night, coolness, gentleness, forgiveness, motherhood, fertility and rest. She’s also a receptive creative force.

Lisa is linked to the sun, day, heat, fierceness, action, punishment/order. He’s a more active force.

Now, one important thing to note is it’s not:

Female = good, Male = bad.

It’s about sacred polarity.

• Night – Day
• Cool – Hot
• Rest – Work
• Creation – Cultivation

In one tradition:

• Mawu creates the Earth (Feminine).
• Lisa (Masculine) is later sent to help humans make tools, clear forests, farm and live a civilized way.

So duality isn’t only symbolic; it becomes a teaching about needing both birth and structure.

When you embody wholeness, you can’t just pick one side of yourself. That’s not how true authenticity works.

“Wholeness comes when you embrace both sides of the coin, so to speak.”

• The masculine & the feminine.
• The light & the shadow.
• The inner child & the mature adult.

Embracing duality is accepting that both truths can exist at the same time.

Another thing that was brought to my attention was that it’s not always going to be this smooth kind of sailing.

It’s going to be messy as you figure out how to integrate, and that’s okay.

Embrace the mess.

Embrace the choppy energy.

Understand that everything can be falling apart and coming together at the same time.

Both truths can exist at the same time.

Now… let’s go back to the dream for a moment.

What did I learn from this dream and through my research?

1…

The village sent the feminine out to find the solution.

Why?

Today we’d be flabbergasted at the thought.

We fail to realize in today’s world, that many ancient civilizations had a deep reverence and respect for feminine energy.

A woman’s intuition was seen as something sacred or divine.

So this village trusted the intuition of the feminine.

That’s the first lesson.

In order to embrace the feminine, you have to learn to trust your intuition.

This isn’t just for women—this is for men as well.

We all have the masculine and feminine within us.

2…

The second lesson:

The village made sure the feminine was nourished first.

This isn’t about one being better than the other, but in order for the masculine to be nourished, the feminine must be nourished properly first.

Why?

3…

That brings me to lesson three.

When I was leaving the village, a little boy was walking with me.

What did I do?

I gave the food—the nourishment—that I had to him so that he could grow to be healthy and strong.

When the feminine is nourished, she is in the best position to nourish the masculine.

That is true when it comes to our inner masculine and feminine, and it’s also true when it comes to our romantic relationships.

When you pour into your partner, they are in a better position to pour into you and elevate you.

Now, how does that come full circle?

When the masculine is then nourished properly, he becomes the feminine’s most loyal and fiercest protector.

When the feminine is nourished, loved, seen and held properly, she’s able to take care of the masculine, and in turn he’s able to take the aligned actions needed, which goes back to Mawu-Lisa.

Mawu creates. Lisa takes action.

Embody duality.

Embrace the choppy energy that comes with the adjustment period.

Trust your intuition.

Honor your emotions so that the masculine can take the aligned actions to create the life you’ve been dreaming about.

When masculine energy is fully nourished rather than shamed, it becomes protective rather than defensive.

The feminine doesn’t serve the masculine by abandoning herself.

She nourishes herself first, and from that fullness, the masculine can rise into aligned action.